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Yyyeah.
We'll see if THAT happens.
I need to have the entire book completed by the end of my spring semester, and I would like the opportunity to go through at least three drafts. The only problem there is that I'm going to need to really CRANK out these drafts. Rush is ending this week, and then I should potentially have more time to work.
Because this book is hopefully going to be the first of a series, I'm having trouble deciding how 'far' to take it in the first book. I have distinct plans for plots and character development...how far should I push that development in the first book? Should the younger characters have any real experiences of growth, or should this book mostly be an introduction to the nuances of their personalities?
Something to think about.
I recently got back to school - my senior year of college, and it's been...nutty.
I'm vice president of a sorority, which means I'm in charge of 'Rush', where we recruit new girls. It's an enormous job, which has left me very little time to write. Last night, however, at about midnight, I was able to sit down and crank out six new pages! The first new work I've done in nearly a month.
But now, I am possibly going to have more time to work. YES.
My boyfriend has asked to read what I have so far, which has sent me off on a flurry of character notes and clarifying plot points. Effective!
I would consider myself a feminist in the oldschool sense of the word. I don't subscribe to feminist ideas of female superiority, and I don't believe that, physically, men and are women are exactly the same. Men can do some neat stuff that we ladies can't. Additionally, we can do some neat stuff that they can't. It balances out.
However, I do believe that women receive the shit end of the stick in media and corporate life, and that there are few really solid role models for young girls to follow in literature. That said, I'm not interested in writing my main character, Ruby Holiday, as a feminist hero. I don't want her constantly conscious of her femininity or crusading against the injustices befalling her gender. I don't want her to be a strong, intelligent, moral and unstoppable woman capable of taking on the world. Because that's an awful, awful cliche.
I would like to write my book with as little adherance to gender roles as possible. Meaning, that when I write a characters actions I don't want to consider their sex as part of the equation. When Ruby sees someone hurting, I don't want her to be hypersensitive to their emotional needs, because that's what a woman would do - maternal instinct and all that. If she does help, I want it to be due to her character, not some stock stereotype previously decided by centuries of fiction.
But here's my conundrum : In deciding to write without the influence of gender, I've become hyper paranoid of it. I question every decision my characters make, because it may be considered sexist in the eyes of the ultra-feminist. Here, Peter calms Ruby down. Is Peter the calming one because he is male, therefore a rock of emotional stability and in charge of the well-being of those around him? Does Ruby need calming because she is experiencing female hysteria due to the illogical and emotionally driven thought process she suffers, like all girls? Or are they making those decions because Peter doesn't get worked up and Ruby does?
See what I mean? In attempting to write without gender roles, I become ultra conscious of the ways a person could possibly pick apart my book to find them.
I'm starting to think it's impossible.
I tend to write darker stories, but I don't want this to turn into 'if it's mean to the characters, I'll do it for effect'.
My first tactic at writing this story (still untitled, here I am calling it 'Ruby', for the main character) was to simply sit down, start at the beginning, and go. See, usually I plan stories to death, until I can't imagine doing all the grunt work when I have it all so beautiful told in my head. So I resolved to do the grunt work FIRST, and see where it took me.
It took me a lot of interesting places. It's been fun to watch the characters and plot develop (albeit in the context of a very rough first draft) and now I'm getting a solid idea of where I'm going and how.
The problem is that I'm not certain how to reconcile where I'm at in the current manuscript with where I want to get to. Which leaves me stuck.
I really don't want to start over from the beginning. Chances are that the second draft would be changed just as much as the first has been, halfway through, and would I start over then? I also don't want to skip around, writing different plot points and favorite scenes. That hasn't worked for me in the past, and I doubt it'll work now.
Boo. Stuck.
First off, a note on the system of magic that I decided while driving in the rain today, listening to Timbaland.
The idea of magic isn't necessarily mystical. It's simply the exercise of exerting YOUR will over something else's. It requires a knowledge and respect of your 'opponent', and a great amount of unassailable confidence.
Everything has a little bit of magic in it - air, rocks, trees, humans, shower curtains - all spells are are taking the magic you own (basically, your will) and convincing the opposer's magic that yours is stronger and more capable.
Generally, people with weak wills or poor confidence fall prey to the magic of other 'creatures'.
Ruby, while she has the strength and confidence necessary for spell-casting, lacks a sense of tolerance and compassion necessary. Peter, who has the latter qualities, lacks the former.
I haven't found a satisfying amount of time to write since getting back from California. It doesn't help that I don't have a bedroom any more - the week before my senior year of college finds me in a room full of dressers that have no room for my clothes, and a bookshelf with none of my books in them anymore. Any period of time spent in here is usually interrupted by somebody looking for something.
Not that I'm complaining. My family is made of wonderful people, and I miss them when I'm gone. My sister (a bit of an angel) has moved into our house with her husband (a bit of a hot head) and baby girl, who is roughly ten months old by now, and likes to have conversations with me regarding her various toys.
Her: "Bwaga bwee glah!"
Me: "That's what I thought."
Her: "Fweeeee!"
Me: "Really? He said that?"
Her: "Gwub bwugga gleek! Pleck! Pleck! Pleck!"
Me: "Oh, snap. Well, you told him!"
Their most recent nanny didn't work out, so I'm spending from seven AM until five thirty or so watching her. She's a darling. A shrieking, pooping, grabbing, laughing, sobbing, crawling little darling.
This, and a rather unsatisfactory reunion among my closest highschool friends (do you ever find that in the company of certain people, you revert to who you were when you first knew them?) have obliterated any opportunity I've had to work on 'Ruby'.
That, and my boyfriend was here, briefly. But now he's back in New York. So scratch that off the distraction list.
Siiiigh.
Hopefully I'll write some tonight.
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